That Floating Excrement Was Far Too Symbolic! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the TV landscape of the recent year, a selection of shows emerge not for their brilliance, but for their notable failures. From cringe-inducing sequels to confusingly poor docuseries, here are the productions that left us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

How to start with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with woeful writing, cringe-inducing character development (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the third season started, it seemed as if it had finally found its groove. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner declared this would be the last season. It ended on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, fans certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the least of this drama's problems. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon no-star review, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the problems. The hilariously leaden dialogue? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and materialism? The almost deliberate parade of tropes? Performances so bad they felt almost malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and never speak of this series again. However, a new season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the legal troubles, domestic violence claims and fatherly failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any sympathy this series might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charismatic but dismissive egotist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy characters convening in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

In truth, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to indulge baffling accents. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just really dull; a dispute over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which felt a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the degree to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s performatively angry commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into quaint homemaking as deliberate provocations. But then you view them and are compelled to admit that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine come to life; a meme for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by immense, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly interesting things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, self-image, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Rather, the viewing was akin to reading a sales catalogue. She obviously has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded non-event of a series.

The Game Show

It should have been the next big hit – except even camper, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up reeking of a production that was straining desperately to live up to something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you follow a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this starry romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of famous friends involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart recruitment of gifted emerging comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a single joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be handled with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from oddly breezy, somewhat mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A complete mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We love the star … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – intellectuals honestly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This hagiography followed the content creator notorious for sexual exploits as she undertook her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was way more interrogation of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific shots and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.